Holiday Fun and Crimes in Hyrule
by Midna Hytwilian
Summary: Take the wildest adventure in your lifes most likely PATHETIC LIFES LOL JK and read as Link and Midna cause havoc on everyone's FAVORITE Holiday! More shall come out SOON!
1. Chapter 1

**There he was the hero of time, in Ordon, again. Midna was in his shadow excited of what the night was. She was still and Imp and they had a far way to go thanks to Link's big adventure on trying to find a Link costume which was UTTERLY pointless but it was worth it to be in the light dweller's realm on this important day.**

**"Finally I can come out!" Midna squeeled in Link's house where the two got ready for Halloween. "What are you going as Midna?" Link asked as he changed in the bathroom. "I'm going as an imp." Midna groaned, obviously she had hoped she'd be able to get a costume in her size, she was not going as Hannah Montana or a baby doll, or in any dog costumes, she refused.**

**"I'm going as Zelda!" Link shouted and came out from the bathroom in a dress, his legs hairy from not shaving in months, and a cheap Hannah Montana wig on. "I'm not even done yet! Midna can I borrow some lip stick?" Link begged and Midna giggled "this is SOO worth getting your germs on my stuff." She handed him pink lipstick.**

**Finally Link had looked utterly cheap and nothing LIKE Zelda, much more like a Drag Queen gone wrong. "Oh my Twili lords, Link you look SOOO gay!" Midna laughed and Link sighed "you don't appreciate my costumes EVER!" The two came out of the house and knocked on Collin's door. "Come on we gotta go!" Link shouted and Midna sighed "damn it I have to trick or treat with little brats! Link I thought you said you and me could go on a date!" Link raised his eyebrows "soon Midna, soon." **

**Collin came out in a pickachu costume. "What the hell? COLLIN NOOO! I SHALL AVENGE YOU!" Link shouted and took his sword out, ready to stab Collin. "Link WAIT! My parents got it on sale at Wal-Mart!" Collin shouted and Link stared at the costume "what is it?" Collin sighed "some cheap ass Nintendo game charecter, I think you've met him." Midna groaned "DAMN YOU LINK I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN BRAWL!" Collin stared at Midna "hey what up Midna?" Collin asked.**

**Finally Talo, Beth, Collin, Illia, Malo, Link, and Midna were all trick or treating off in Hyrule Castle. It was finally Halloween night after two days of riding to the castle town. Beth was dressed as Samus, Talo as Ash who made Collin his bitch, Illia as Peach the most annoying charecter ever, and Malo as Mario which supposedly didn't resemble his name what-so-ever as he said. **

**"Damn you Talo stop bitch slapping me!" Collin shouted inside the carage that was being pulled by Epona who Link was riding. "NEVER! I HATE YOU PICHACHU!" Talo screamed and threw a ball at him. Collin was unconcious. "DAMN IT TALO YOU HIT HIM HARD!" Beth sobbed. Talo threw another ball at Beth. She was down and out. "WHO'S NEXT BITCHES? I'M TALO BITCH!" Talo shouted, getting out of control. He threw a ball at Illia and Malo. Only Midna remained.**

**Midna got out of the carage with an uncouncious Talo, he was barely breathing. "What did you do?" Link asked, Midna sighed "oh..umm...nothing." She made the rock that turned Link into a wolf disappear in her hand. "OH DAMN IT MIDNA YOU KNOW YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HIM!" Link shouted and Midna sighed "I'm sorry." Link's face turned red "SORRY!?! I'M RUNNING OUT OF SPOTS TO BURIE BODIES YOU KNOW AND DAMN IT I HAVE 15 PEOPLE LEFT ON MY HIT LIST! NOT EVEN GANONDORF AND ZANT ARE ON THERE YET!"**

**After long hours of Trick or Treating, Link took Midna to a pumpkin patch. "Why are we here?" Midna whispered. "Shut up, the Great Pumpkin's almost here!" Link hissed, Midna screamed "YOU ASSHOLE HE'S NOT REAL! DIDN'T YOU EVER WATCH THE ENDING OF CHARLIE BROWN'S HALLOWEEN!?!" Midna floated off as someone arose. "MIDNA IT'S HIM!" Link shouted and Midna came back. "I stand corrected." She whispered. Zant arose from the pumpkins doing ballea, dressed as a Ballerina. "WEEE!" He shouted twirling around.**

**"DAMN IT MIDNA HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT ZANT ISN'T FLAMMABLE BUT THE PUMPKINS ARE?!" Link shouted an hour later as Hyrule was caught on fire because of the fire that broke out near the pumpkin patch. The two fleed blamming the children. "Link I told you first thing when we met!" Midna shouted as the two fled. "Well, at least Talo can bitch slap Collin and the others all he wants in the Dungeon?" Link asked. Midna sighed "come on we got work to do."**

**"Hey Midna, where we going for Thanksgiving?" Link asked as the two rode off.**

**"THE END." The screen read on the tv. A girl named Marge stared at the tv and then the video game guide. "DAMN IT THEY FRIGGIN DIDN'T STICK TO THE STORY LINE!" She shouted and threw the remote at the tv, thus breaking her tv and running off. **

**HAPPY NON HALLOWEEN! LOL!**


	2. MAKING CHRISTMAS! Oh No ANOTHER PARADOY?

**"What time is it?" Midna groaned on the floor of the Goron's Mines, Link had spent all his time hiding from the scene of the crime that had went on in Halloween, he forgot all about Thanksgiving luckily. "OHH MIDNA MIDNA! IT'S!! IT'S!!! IT'S!!!!" Link started shouting up and down. "Aw crap." Midna groaned. "CHRISSSSSSTMAAAASSS!" Link giggling and picked Midna up. "WHAT NOW YOU LITTLE GAY MORON!?!" Midna shouted, she was not a happy imp in general but especially not at 5:00am in the morning. "WHAT NOW YOUR MORONESS?! KING OF THE MORONS!" Midna screamed. Link sighed "Midna's gonna be on the NAUGHTY list! Take me to Ordon PWEASE!?!" Link begged on his knee. "Damn you to Hyrule Hell." Midna muttered and did Link's bidding. "OHH CHRISTMASY!" Link shouted. Talon, Beth, Malo, Collin, and Illia had been released finally.**

**Their sentence had been a month of Micheal Jackson games in the Hyrule Castle's Dungeon. "Don't bitch slap me!" Whimmpered Talo, he was darting to a corner as Link appeared. "NOO MORE GAMES!" Sobbed Malo and Collin. "Why don't we paint each others nails!?!" The girls begged jumping up and down. "Damn, I think something's wrong with them Link, what the hell did MJ do to them?" Midna asked in a low whisper. "OHH GAMES!" Link shouted excited. Malo and Collin got undressed. "PLEASE NOT TOO LONG!" The two begged. Link looked away "ILLL...I DON'T LIKE THAT GAME!" Link shouted. Midna giggled, "hmm, Christmas may be enjoyable."**

**"Hmm, Midna, come on I gotta go get a tree!" Link giggled, Midna sighed "damn it Link, are you going to end up ripping off ANOTHER copyrighted Charlie Brown Holiday Special?" Midna asked, Link looked both ways before answering "will I get sued?" Link asked in a whisper. "DAMN IT LINK! GO TO HELL! I'M GOING AWAY!" Midna shouted and flew off. Link went searching for a tree and found a 'Charlie Brown' tree and took it with him. "Hmm...maybe I SHOULD be more careful with this loser's fan fiction? I mean knowing her she'll just go and make it more comical and have me sued..." Link whispered hoping the fan fiction author wouldn't hear. "DAMN WHY DO THEY USUALLY CATCH ON BY CHAPTER 2!?" A voice shouted, it was a female, the authors. "Oh shit, I wasn't quiet enough!" Link screamed and ran off towards the Peanuts Compony. "I SAY WE MAKE ANOTHER CHEAP ASS MOVIE!" A voice laughed inside. Link bursted through the doors.**

**"Oh crap!" Link shouted as he stared at the 'Charlie Brown' tree still in his hands. "SUE HIM!" A man at the front shouted and pointed a golden hammer at him. "What the hell? MIDNA HELP! THIS IS THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVER!" Link screamed, and ran away before something could happen. "THAT'LL TEACH YOU, YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE! MENTION ME AGAIN AND I'LL KILL YOU OFF!" The author's voice laughed evily. Link arrived back in Ordon. "Damn it, the author caught me!" Link shouted, "awww crap!" All of a sudden a giant pencil came down and erased Link. "TELL SANTA I LOVE HIM!" Link shouted as from the bottom up to his face was erased. "Santa is Satan, hint the name. I mean it's JUST that the n is out of place Link you moron. And besides BOTH are red." Midna sighed as Link disappeared. **

**"OH CRAP STOP SWINGING THAT FRIGGIN SWORD AT ME!" The author's voice screamed. "LET ME BACK IN!" Cried Link. Finally the author drew Link again. "YAY! SANTA I'M COMING!" Link shouted running off to his house to set cookies up. "DAMN IT LINK IT'S SATAN!" Midna shouted. "THANK YOU SATAN FOR THE MASTERSWORD LAST CHRISTMAS IN 1998!" Link shouted towards the ceiling. "Hey where'd my ceiling go?" Link asked as he stared at a starry night. "DAMN IT LINK YOU DON'T THANK THE PRINCE OF EVIL OR HE STEALS YOUR ROOF! AND OH SHIT MY MIDNA SENSES ARE TINGLING ANOTHER BRIDGE WAS STOLEN!" Midna screamed. Meanwhile..."HAHA THEY'LL NEVER FIND THE BRIDGE THOSE THIS IS UTTERLY POINTLESS AND WILL NEVER SLOW THEM DOWN!" A shadow beast giggled. **

**"GAME OVER, MERRY CHRISTMAS." The screen read again for Marge. "DAMN IT STICK TO THE FRIGGIN STORYLINE DUMB ASS FAN FICT. AUTHOR!" The author slowly erased Marge...**

**MERRY NON CHRISTMAS! MWAHAHA! Sorry if it wasn't better, lol. I did it by requests, it wasn't my BEST work I'll admit, thanks forALL my reviews on my stories and all my fave fans who made me their FAVE author! LOL! I love you all and hope you enjoyed this, once again sorry for the crapiness. LOL! Is crapiness even a friggin word? Lol, oh well! Well it was OKAY but, lol, check out my NEW series I shall be starting SOON which will be based about SOMETHING ELSE!!! DUN DUN DUN! Yes Brawl, lol, I have some GREAT ideas of having Link meet the 'CRAPPY' Pickachu and others lol. Look out for more Holidays and Crimes Fun in Hyrule! LOL! MWAHAHA! What shall the fan fic author do to the next poor victum who mentions her????**


	3. MJ and JD VDay Fun! Wow lots shorten

**Dislcaimer: I thought we've been friggin THROUGH this alreadys! I DON'T own TP (Twilight Princess) I ONLY own a copy of the game DUH! Anything I mention here besides Marge I do NOT own, this included Charlie Brown, though I doubt I am even gonna mention it. **

**A/N and now let the chapter begin.**

"Midna...." Link whispered in her ear. "Hmm..yeah Johnny Depp?" Midna asked still in her dream. "Johnny Depp? WHERE!?!" Link shouted. "Oh crap not you again!" Midna groaned as she stared at the 'king of moroness.'

"IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY! I need to go to Ordon again!" Link giggled. "Fine but STOP being so gay!" Midna ordered and teleported them. "OHH RUSTLE! I love you." Link giggled and handed him a cheap ass V-day card.

"Like a father right?" Rustle asked frighteened. _Please say dad. For goddesses sakes don't be a retard Link. _"YEP!" Link shouted and ran off. "Oh thank you fan fic author!" Rustle shouted. "THAT'S IT!"

A voice boomed and erased Rustle. "MJ, we love you! Can we play a game?" Link asked handing Micheal Jackson another cheap ass V-Day card. "Ehehe! Are you under the ages of thirteen?" He asked in his gay frilly voice. "Umm...yes." Link whispered. "We can play then little boy!" MJ shouted and ripped Link's tunic off. "I MEANT BATTLESHIP! MIDNA HELP!" Link cried and Midna sighed.

"Always having to help damn Link! Fine off we go to Castle Town!" Midna shouted and teleported them there. "OMG! JOHNNY DEPP I LOVE YOU!" Midna squealed with fangirl glee. There before them was the sexest man ever. "Oh crap." He muttered as Midna threw herself upon him. "MIDNA BE CAREFUL HE COULD SUE US! And those damn Peanut guys really took a toll on my rupees." Link muttered under his breath.

"MARRY ME!" Midna ordered. "THAT'S IT! IF I AM THE FRIGGIN AUTHOR WHY CAN'T I MAKE HIM MARRY ME?!!" The author's voice shouted. "CAUSE HE LOVES ME!" Midna teased. "Where am I?" Johnny Depp asked. "Our beloved ruler, the fan fic author has brought us here." Link explained actually sounding smart.

"I steal him!" The author shouted and soon erased Midna. "What's done is done, I didn't want to but."

"Game Over, happy Valentine's Day." The screen read once AGAIN. "OH COME ON! I GET ERASED AND COME BACK HERE FOR THIS!?! WHY CAN'T I JUST PLAY THE GAME ONCE!?!" Marge shouted.

**Short but I am getting a chap out for EVERY story today so HA!**


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